Did I mention Sarah? (among other things)

July 1, 2010

Yippee! Tomorrow is the long-awaited trip to see Sarah. Today is the one-month anniversary since I last saw her, and I can happily announce that on Saturday she is coming back-for good! Me thinks my friends are getting bored of hearing her name, but hey, she’s my best friend.

I’ve been feeling…peculiar lately. I honestly can’t tell the difference between slight depression and total mellowness. Some days I want to stop being the detached self-contained person I am and I want to go out and have fun with friends. But then I have to sit back and stop myself. No. I have to say. No. I picked this. I chose to be this way, it helps me cope and helps me stay in control. If I go out and laugh with friends then I’ll get to that awful part where I think people actually care. And then I’ll be spilling my life’s story and shizz. Thanks alot Kathy for telling me you didn’t care.

I’m not bitter about it, it just shocked me.

So, to combat these feelings of…let’s call it loneliness (Damn I hate that word) I’ve been throwing myself into art and reading. Reading particularly. I got The Spy That Came In From The Cold and The Bell out of the school library, I finished reading The Behaviour of Moths, We Are Made of Glue and The Earth Hums in B Flat last week and this week, and I bought The Secret History, Tess of the D’Urbervilles and Therese Raquin today. Phew. I also have yet to buy and read The Scarlet Letter.

Well, it keeps things off my mind.


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