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The joys of June

June 25, 2010

Friday seems to be my shopping day. Which means every Friday I take all £30 out my bank account and come home with bags and bags. Well I’m not complaining!

I love finding things in shops that have been reduced because of a broken zip or torn button loop. Por exjemplo; I once bought a dress in New Look and the zip was broken. How did I solve it? I gave it to one of my nan’s friends whose a seamstress and she whipped out the old zip and put a new one in. It cost me about a £1. Problem solved. Another example; I bought a black dress for a party which was reduced because, again, the zip was apparently broken. When I got it home I wiggled the zip around and found that it wasn’t broken at all, it was merely momentarily stuck. Triumph! So today I found a beautiful cream vintage lace dress which was £13 but reduced to £5 because one of the pearl button loops was broken. My mum can sew that up in less than five minutes. Another triumph!

I also bought some new headphones (despite the fact I bought some last Friday too…) and a boater hat and a necklace (reduced to £3 in a sale) and various party stuff.

Hmm, pirate party tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it more than I thought I was. I’ve got the prizes, the games, and getting the food in a bit. Decorations are my speciality 🙂 I also have my outfit, which I’m most excited about. The theme was traditional pirate, but now it’s how you would like a pirate to look, but the requirements are a hat, eye patch and sword/pistol. And we’re all going to look amazing! On Sunday I’m dragging Kathkath off to a wildflower field for a picnic and photoshoot, so I’ll try and blog at some point, no promises though…I forgot how much art takes up of my time…

Speaking of art, you’ll never guess what, but my teacher has LOST my whole last year’s portfolio. That’s three final pieces, three full sketchbooks and countless etching plates and various work. I really hope it turns up. Hmm.

Birthday No.3

June 22, 2010

Today is my birthday. I’m seventeen if you want to be a spoilsport and tell me my real age, and I’m fifteen if you don’t like growing up and want to join me in my childish make-believe.

So Happy Birthday Me.

I would do anything…

June 21, 2010

“can you colourize my life? I’m so sick of black and white”

[I love Meatloaf. Not the food, the band. Well, the singer. It’s in my blood to like them. My dad, my nan, my auntie Tracey, my mum, me, possibly more family members]

Tomorrow is my birthday! I’m going to be 15. *cough cough splutter* A lie, of course, I’m actually going to be seventeen. This time last year I knew I was getting the latest technology and make-up-because I’d asked for it and I wanted it. This time last year, I had finished school and my exams and I was just sitting at home all day, and I had a load of friends who, didn’t really like me and vice versa.

This year I’ve asked for an Inktense pencil set, Fairy drawing books, a pari of cheap headphones and a vintage locket to put a photo of my family in. What a change from last year! Last year I spent my birthday money on clothes and shoes and more makeup. This year I’m spending my birthday money on more art materials since discovering the SAA and my nan’s discount gives me lots of brillaint new art stuff at affordable prices. This year I’m at college for my birthday; starting new classes and making new friends and learning new things. This year I’ve discarded those ‘friends’, discovered who my friends really are and become a better person for it.

But back to the title of this post, and I may get a little deep here, just as a warning.

Recently, all my friend’s and family’s lives seem to revolve around love, and relationships, and boyfriends etc. And it’s really made me discover more about myself and how odd I am compared to my friends.

I’m very old-fashioned in the way I think relationships should develop and progress and act. I’ve had ‘guys’ who, at the time, I thought were boyfriends. But looking back, I didn’t enjoy being in their company-they wanted too many things. Too many things that I, as a thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen year old wasn’t prepared to give, or do, or say. Like ‘I love you.’ I’ve said that to one guy while I knew he was in love with one of my best friends. But he was screwed up, and I pitied him, and I didn’t mind. But there’s a huge difference between saying ‘I love you’ and meaning it.

And then my parent’s marriage seemed to prove that love was elusive. And I learnt that love is something that only happens to very lucky people.

I don’t believe in love.

I’d like to. I believe in love for family-love for my brothers, sister, mum, father etc. But love for a guy? I just don’t get it.

When I first watched 500 Days of Summer, I didn’t understand Summer. I didn’t like her character. But recently I’ve been watching that film over and over again.

I want to get married. I want to have kids. But I’m terrified of making a mistake; of marrying the guy I think I’m in love with and it all turning out like every other marriage nowadays. It might sound selfish, but I don’t want kids with a guy that I’m not absolutely sure I love.

I’m a tricky person.

Plus, going to college means I see couples, I see arguments, I see crushes. I hear girls trying to change, and spending their whole lives obsessing over what guys like and what they don’t, and how to act, and how to talk, and how to look. And I hate that.

I don’t want to be the girl who won’t speak because her boyfriend hasn’t rung when he said he would. I don’t want to be the girl who dresses just because her boyfriend likes her to dress that way. I don’t want to be the girl who cries when he says something insensitive. I just don’t want to be that girl.

Good luck to any boyfriend I ever have.

The reason I’m posting this now, the day before my 17th birthday, is because of exactly that. I’ll be 17 tomorrow, and I don’t want to be. But I have to grown up at some point. I have to stop pretending I’m living in Neverland where I can get away with never having a boyfriend and not caring about this kind of stuff. And, possibly, someday soon, I will care about boyfriends and seriousness and caring. But it’s not in my nature. But just for now, I don’t want to think about that and have to have boys cluttering up my life. I’m happy single-I’ve always been happy single.

So tomorrow when I make my birthday wish, I’ll wish for love. I’ll wish that I know it, that I know the truth of it.

 But not just yet, not just yet.

“So I would do anything for love…”

[clash of the colours]

June 19, 2010

Y’know, sometimes I just can’t be arsed to dress in matching colours.

: )

Birthday No.2

June 19, 2010

Ok, so my mother’s birthday was last Monday, but I was away so I didn’t get to post this.

So Happy [Late] Birthday Birthday to my mother!

(Aged three)

Summary Time

June 11, 2010

Overall, a fairly good week : )

Exams all week except Wednesday, but now I have just one more exam, on the day before my birthday. Damn.

Speaking of my birthday, my Pirate Party is going…er, well. I’ve picked my hat. No costume. No invitations. No decorations. Nothing. Nowt. This is most unlike me. Usually my parties are planned down to the minutest detail, but I think the sudden crossing-off of people on my guest list has made me uncertain as to whether I want a birthday party with the grand total of six people. Possibly less. I mean, I love birthday parties-not the drunken-raving sort teenagers are supposed to have, but proper birthday parties. Like with lemonade and fairy cakes and pass-the-parcel. Yeah, I know, I’m quite pathetic sometimes. Ah well. Those sort of parties make me happy.

It’s the college art trip to St Ives on Monday (my mother’s birthday). This trip is the starting point for many new things; 1. the very end of my first year at college, 2. the start of my second new year at college, 3. making some more friends (hopefully!) and 4…

ART IS BACK!

I always complained about the workload, and having my teacher tell me one thing, then another, and trying to combine my photography with my art, but five weeks without art lessons has made me slightly and unnoticably depressed. I really can’t wait to go to St Ives and start sketching and painting into my brand new-sketchbook.

We discovered the owners of Jinx the cat. They came down the road, calling ‘Lily’ and Jinx shot out. They were really happy to find her. Alas, four hours later I opened the back door, and Jinx came sauntering in. She’s not left since, and that was almost a week ago.

Cannot wait for the 9th July, since that’s when I get to go and visit Sarah! It’s a mahoosive five-hour long train ride, with three changes, and since I’m not very confident getting on trains and such, I expect I’ll end up in Wales or something. Y’know, totally NOT where Sarah is or I’m meant to be.

Bought a beautiful cardigan yesterday, or rather, my mother did for me. It’s grey and military stylee.

Watched Dr Parnassus today-brilliant film.

Reading several new books, and doing ridiculous amounts of cross-stitching.

Annnd…that’s my week!

Have a great weekend : )

Finding Family

June 10, 2010

My godfather is a man called Mick. He was bald, fat, and the nicest man alive. I don’t think there’s any point in trying to avoid saying he was fat, but then, there’s nothing wrong with that. He was so very huggable, the sort of person you could just cling to and never want to let go.

But then, about three or four years ago, he just disappeared. My dad and him had an argument, and then Mick stopped visiting. And since then, we’ve had no idea where he was or what he was doing or whether we would ever find him again.

And then, by complete chance and luck, I found his email address. At least, I think and hope and pray that it’s his email address.

So I’ve sent him an email, and I’m hoping and praying and thinking that he’ll reply. Because, if he does reply, it will heal a rather large and empty space in all my family.

Fingers crosses : )

Birthday No.1

June 4, 2010

Happy Birthday, Daddyo.

xxx

Big arty-shizz update!

June 2, 2010

I bought my first new cross stitch magazine two Sunday’s ago, and I j’adore it! “The World of Cross Stitching” is s’mazing. There’s loads of charts that I want to start stitching straight away, but y’know, exams and stuff. So this is my newest one. It’s being made to put up in our hallway, and is very bright and retro and cheerful. Good stuff.

Here’s my fifties ladies, from a really ancient cross stitch magazine. I’ve had a lot of disasters with the stylish lady on the left, ranging from not having the right colour for her skirt, to making the colour up, to finding the colour is exactly the same colour as her legs, and to finding that I have no skin colour left, among other problems. So I’m ignoring her for a while and concentrating on all the backstitching and border. Give me another two weeks and they shall be proudly prancing round a frame in my bedroom!

This is just a remake of a page I did a few years ago…this one’s much more accomplished…I love this photo of some good harmless partying before teenage parties were expected to have alcohol in them.

Well, Sarah’s gone and I made this a couple of weeks ago. Just round my house is a dead-end road where we always always always sat and chatted and ate and made diet pacts (which, obviously, failed) etc. Those were the good old days!

The BFG and me

Kathy is really quite tall…compared to me. She’s actually the Big. Friendly. Giant.With a slight emo fashion sense.

Kathy had the idea of making ‘Sarah’s face cakes’ a couple of weeks back, and for Sarah’s leaving party last Wednesday, I made some. It’s a scary likeness!

This layout has been in the making for a while now, and I think my excuse is that I didn’t have the right materials and products I wanted for it (complete lie) and the real reason is that around the time I started this page, it was my auntie’s 25th death anniversary. Anyhow, this is my auntie Tracey, years and years ago, looking very awesome. She was badly bullied, but looking at this photo, I can’t possibly think why. She looks like the exact person who I would love to be my friend.

Phew! So that’s my creative overhaul for a couple of days now, hope you enjoyed it. I’ve been sketching alot lately too, so if you’re really lucky, I might scan a few illustrations in…