I’d forgotten

May 9, 2010

I’ve had a great week last week, and I can’t really remember the week before that, but I’m sure it was great too.

Lately, I was stripped right down to the bone and everything about me was exposed to everyone else. But it also helped me see that I didn’t like being a doormat, and that I didn’t like the way I was being seen, or treated, or thought of. And now I’m working hard to build it all, and myself, up again.

But I’d forgotten how to laugh, and how to feel completely at ease with friends. Because I’d got so used to creeping round people, trying to do as they pleased and only speaking when spoken to. So the past few weeks have been a healing thing for me, I think. I’ve spent time alone, I’ve spent time with friends, I’ve spent time with family. I’ve been more independent, I’ve had heart-to-hearts, I’ve listened, I’ve told, I’ve attempted to give advice, I’ve made more jokes, I’ve been more me.

But now, I’m on the way up. I’m happy. Truly.

So here’s a rundown of my past week, not for your benefit, but for mine;

Sunday; went to my Nanny’s for tea and painting. We’re repeating this today as well : )

Tuesday; got the train home all by myself! I never would’ve done this a few months ago.

Thursday; got the train in and home again all by myself! Then I picked my little sister up from school and went to my dad’s for tea and movies.

Friday; Spent the majority of the day with Geo and Vicki, and we went to see Iron Man Two, mainly because it has Robert Downey Jnr in it xD Also went to visit Sarah, and we (actually, just I!) ate lots of cake and spaghetti and sausages.

This week is going to be spent much like last week, but I’ve learnt that that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

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